You Can’t Have My Money!

You Can’t Have My Money!

In the event that you are a business and hope to be taken truly on the Internet, you have to take care of business and undertaking an expert picture.

Kindly don’t think this is a solicitation. This is an interest from the Ritalin-popping-prompt delight era surfing the net (otherwise known as 95% of your potential clients).

I need to provide for you my cash…

I need your items…

I need to trust you…

be that as it may, I’m sorry to say is inconceivable now that I have seen your site.

Blazing daylight and rainbows are beautiful. Indeed some of my most average youth memories include daylight and rainbows. Additionally, multi colored content shouting “Welcome to my Home Page on the overall internetz!” makes me all warm and fluffy inside.

Will you be my companion?

No, scratch that, I simply hurled in my mouth a tiny bit, however by one means or another I’ll get past this. “Swallow”

I have put the daylight and rainbows behind me and generally as I am going to send my installment to you at “”, I think… Can I trust somebody who utilizes an email location like that for their business exchanges? Certainly, my email location may be “Eatinbaconnaked@whatever” however I am the client, I can do that. Kindly for the sake of everything, get an email location fitting for business that is particular from your individual email.

Furthermore those enlivened symbols that you send in your email, you know, the ones that make Outlook accident like its descending off a Pop-tart prompted sugar high? No doubt those, keep em’ impending.

Goodness, and since I am your client now, you have my consent to incorporate me on your CC rundown of “companions” in light of the fact that I need to be a major part of your life. OMG PONIES!!! ARE SOOOOOOOOO CUTE!!! ROFL.

While I’m on the subject, please take in the English dialect. I can’t discover a “Puerile – to – English” interpreter on the web. Along these lines, for the rest of our business exchange I am going to need to request that you talk and compose a dialect with genuine words. Indeed, I “LOL” all the time in any case, when is the last time you seen anybody “ROFL” or “ROFLMAO”. Surely, I would never “LMAO” when conversing with one of my clients, however perhaps I am simply getting old…

BRB, I need to TMGARTF (Take my Geritol and read the funnies).

Coincidentally, I delighted in listening to the midi ambient melodies while I was scanning your site. Nothing provides for me more trust in you as an issue business than a perpetually circling midi form of Metallica’s Enter Sandman.

FYI: Midis were cool for around three days in right on time 1994, and you missed the pontoon.

You ought to additionally know, a percentage of the pages on your site won’t stack in my program. It is safe to say that it is conceivable that those pages don’t exist? Hold up, what does that minimal sign say…  “Please Excuse The Mess, This Website is Under Construction”. Don’t stress, I wouldn’t fret the chaos while your site is everlastingly under development, I live in Michigan, I’m utilized to development. I am additionally used to perusing “Comic Sans” textual style in 48 pt sort on a perpetually rehashing 220 KB JPG foundation of mists. That is simply what we accomplish for the sake of entertainment here in Michigan in the two weeks consistently when there are no brew tents to be found. We toss a bit “Dom Casual” on some vivified meteorites when we need to blend it up a bit.

I recall how pleased I was in clarifying to young ladies how Netscape 3 was the first to help outlines and how it was unmistakably better than Internet Explorer. I kicked the bucket a tad bit within today when I some way or another figured out how to discover your site … and yes I was a forlorn geek, quiets down.


FYI: Frames are by and large considered an awful thought for more than a couple of reasons.

Availability – Frames are a bad dream for screen perusers utilized by the outwardly weakened; on the other hand I associate in the case with your site, they are the lucky ones.

Internet searcher Indexing – Search motors will need to record your pages that really have content substance, on the other hand, in light of the frameset, your substance pages presumably don’t have any route joins, in this manner heading unfortunate guests into sub-pages with no route.

Ok, however I overlooked…  you’re the “expert”. How about we simply make a blaze introduction page with an enormous activity with practically no pertinence to your industry and a huge connection that says “CLICK HERE TO ENTER”. I figure that simply fixes everything now isn’t that right? Believe it or not, why not avoid the enter interface so we need to sit through your whole glimmer introduction, that is the manner by which to truly awe your clients. Presently, let me know, why doesn’t your site appear in the web indexes? Must be a scheme, no doubt…

Is something after my cursor or would it say it is my inward ninja simply reckoning’s everything it might do? Alarming.

I know there is a ninja/privateer joke in there some place however I’m excessively occupied by all the pretty colors.

Yes! I might want to set your site as my landing page, a debt of gratitude is in order regarding reminding me! What’s more, I would “Send this page to a Friend”, however all my companions are IRL (truth be told).

Presently, what was it you were offering?

Goodness, I see, you’re a web engineer. That being said, isn’t everybody?

No, its OK, I’m not yelling. I’m simply hypersensitive.